Eunuch

14 August 2011

Eunuch

 

I’m

normal –

in my thoughts

I still feel lust,

desire, attraction,

arousal, fantasy …

I’m willing to give pleasure,

with passion, touch, and affection,

but I cannot give you more than that.

Fortifications

14 August 2011

Fortifications

“Mother did it need to be so high …”

 

First breath,

life begins in protest.

I learned

to defend from the start.

 

Nurtured to self-protect,

to hide,

I’m different from them

it seems.

 

So I

chose a divergent path –

hermit,

recluse, solitary,

 

alone …

I built a wall around

myself

and retreated inside.

 

One window to see out,

no door

to let anyone in,

content …

 

It’s safe,

secure behind my walls,

lonely,

but no one ever knows.

 

I keep up this image,

no one

ever sees who I am

inside.

 

I won’t

let anyone get close

enough

to hurt me or love me.

 

The walls won’t ever fall

and I

reap what I have chosen

to live.

Sediment

08 August 2011

Sediment

routine,

the same old same old,

patterns become habits.

 

I hate change,

fear the unknown …

I’m safe without taking risks,

 

but stuck.

Discontent, and yet

wishing for something more

 

than what is.

I have settled,

but what have I settled for?