some thoughts on communication

30 March 2013

some thoughts on communication

 

It takes time,

LOTS of time,

trial and error,

misunderstandings,

misperceptions,

a willingness to listen

and forgive,

to explain without defensiveness,

anger, or vengeful words.

 

It means choosing,

not only which battles to fight,

but ultimately, surrendering

for the sake of the greater good.

Being right at the cost of

eroding or even destroying

what is between us

is something I hope we never do.

 

It is practicing,

making mistakes,

learning as we go.

It is commitment,

to each other, but

perhaps more importantly

to what we share between us.

There is a difference.

 

It is understanding and accepting

that we do not have to agree

on everything, we are individuals

who can safely have our own

opinions without needing to

conform to someone else’s.

 

It is truly caring enough

to really listen, with both ears,

with both eyes, and sometimes

with mouth closed.

 

It is not talking to someone,

down to someone,

at someone,

but with …

 

It is the echo of my heart, my soul’s

deepest need to connect

not with just anyone,

but with you.

And the hope that you

would wish the same.

 

It is grace.

We are imperfect.

Words will be said, feelings hurt,

unintentionally and regrettably

otherwise sometimes.

It is not just words,

to just say "I am sorry"

but to compassionately

hear when my, your, our words

have wounded and

to care more about healing and

restoration than trying to

justify, explain, rationalize, or defend our words!

 

It is more than words, no not the song,

the unspoken, the looks, the touches,

the non-verbal majority.

It is intuition, knowing somehow without

being told, yet always recognizing

that even the most confident

assumptions are still just that …

 

It is daring to ask, look foolish for

perhaps not understanding,

without hurtful condescension or

arrogance or derisive attitudes.

 

It is the way we touch, when

absolutely no words need to be

used. It is a laugh, or silently falling tears.

It is a sigh, just to be held close, just

to know you are appreciated,

not taken for granted,

and yes, loved.

 

It is remembering, paying attention,

showing, not just telling,

it is compromise and sometimes

it is steadfastness. It is flexibility and

respecting rules, boundaries, the need

for something to stand on.

 

It is innocence, vulnerability,

transparency …

It is togetherness and space,

it is the freedom to let go,

without ever giving up.

 

It is not dutifully silent,

it is speaking up for what you think

and feel and believe, for what you

do and do not want,

for what you desire, need, hope for, dream of …

 

it is constant imperfections,

clinging to faith in ourselves,

each other,

and us.

 

If it ever fails, truly fails,

there is nothing left, but

with it … all things are possible.

We can face anything, deal with anything,

conquer anything together if

we can always communicate.

 

This is my wish, for us.

some assembly required

30 March 2013

some assembly required

 

I do not care what the instructions say,

this part and that simply won’t fit that way.

They’re incompatible I’m telling you,

wishing it otherwise won’t make it true.

Yes, I am angry, emotions laid bare,

I do not care.

 

I don’t have the patience I guess to see

beyond process to possibility.

I question and argue and complicate,

destroying what I am hoping to make.

Maybe that’s why I don’t get anywhere —

I do care.

Volcano

30 March 2013

 

 

Volcano

 

It’s just there,

lying dormant,

picturesque …

 

somewhere,

in the back of my mind

I know it could

 

but I never

expected it to

become active

 

until it was too late.

Something more

30 March 2013

Something more

 

Capricious smoke signals,

frivolous at first,

unexpectedly returned,

rekindling a fire

from dying embers,

tentatively

becoming dialogue,

and something more.