of lists and the old mare’s blanket

05 April 2014

 

 

Oh yeah, I could give you a list, a list a country mile long, a list like grandma crocheting a potholder, which ended up being a blanket for the old mare, out in the barn. Yeah, that kind of a list. A list I have rehearsed and rehashed, memorized, and added to over and over again. A list that defines everything that ever went wrong, is wrong, and will always be wrong about me, about my life, about the world I inhabit. Yeah, exactly, one of those kinds of lists!

But you know what? There is another list, a much shorter, simpler list. It simply says, “Yes, I will love you again.” For now, both lists coexist and life is all about choosing which list I will check off, right now, in this moment. And the next … There will always be things I could add to the longer list. That’s the list of overthinking, of not doing anything. I may never succeed in always choosing the shorter list, the To Do list, but the horse doesn’t need another blanket. Yeah, I choose to love you again, to live … to live.

 

 

written for Kellie Elmore’s FWF